I’ve just finished reading the second chapter of  ‘Love as a way of life’ by Gary Chapman. Below are my thoughts regarding ‘kindness’ which covers the second chapter of the book.
“I’ll be kind to you if you will be kind to me.” 
I bet some of you may have heard of this phrase as it is said by people that you know. Whether they say this particular phrase or their attitude towards other people reflects this particular phrase. I know I have. I personally think it’s self-centered. Whenever I hear this phrase (or read it), I know that person is the type of person that thinks he/she is superior than other people and their relationship with other people are conditional. One little speck of unkindness from a friend and boom~! Bits and pieces of their friendship scattered all over the place and may never be connected again. I know it hurts to have an unkind attitude being thrown at you, but is it rational if we take back every ounce of our kindness from a person that we’ve been kind to before just because of a little speck of unkindness? Or maybe just because the person has not done anything kind to us, we should not give back any kindness to that person? I think otherwise. 
I’ll be kind to you regardless of how you treat me.”
The above phrase shows true self of authentic love, as stated by Gary Chapman. I’ve had people throwing harsh words at me and treated me like a fool but I never thought of making that as an excuse to immediately being unkind to that person. Off course at the second I was angry & annoyed (who doesn’t???),  but I always tell myself – be patient, be patient, be patient. Despite the harsh words, until now I still show kindness to that person. Or at least did not treat that person like he/she had treated me. 
“Kind words are not always positive words. Genuine love confronts people when their behavior is destructive.”

Sometimes I can be a coward in advising people of their misdemeanor. It’s either I can’t find the right words to say without sounding harsh or was I just being a coward to confront them by saying that what they’d done was inappropriate? Or maybe I was just trying not to be a busy body about it??? But off course like most of us have heard, if you love that person (either as a friend, family member, significant other), advise them so that he/she will not be regretful for their misdemeanor and in the end it will saddened us to see our loved ones get hurt or get in trouble. If we sound angry while advising, like the Malay saying goes – ‘marah tanda sayang’. But we have to choose the appropriate words to say off course. Being angry doesn’t mean we have to use harsh words or increase the volume of our voice.

p/s: Acts of kindness have been proved to reverse feelings of depression, hostility, and isolation. As a result, stress-related health problems often improve after you help someone. 

Therefore, let’s show kindness to anyone, wherever and whenever!!! :DD


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