I remembered I went through a state of depression for half a year or more. Heartbreaks are really devastating. Waking up one day, realizing that person is gone. Realizing that he or she will not be a part of your life anymore. Sometimes its hard to accept that fact. Some people tend to be stubborn in accepting the fact. Looking at other people who went through the same thing as I did, being stubborn and all, it was annoying. I realized it now how immature, pathetic and annoying it was of me back then to be stubborn and still not accepting the fact and move on. This became a part of me that I hate. I thought to myself ‘I used to be like that – how stupid.’ But luckily I’ve overcome that stubbornness. Some part of me still hates who I was in the past. I am not proud of who I was. But by thinking positively, I don’t need to look back on the past. All I have to think about is the present and the future. But sometimes the thought struck me again and again from time to time.
Love is patient and kind
I’ve heard a phrase saying – forget the past, but never forget what it taught you.
It had taught me a lot of things, especially regarding myself. How I perceived things in the past are totally different now. Especially regarding relationships. 2 years of not being in a serious relationship sure has taught me a lot. I observe the people around me and how they handle their relationship. I learn from them indirectly. Personality, trust and communication are the few contributing factors. I’m happy for myself because I don’t seem to be in a rush to get involved in a relationship because I’m only 20. I’m guessing people will start asking me about marriage after I graduate – which is around 3-4 years from now, then probably I will start to think seriously about relationships. If you don’t realize the time passing by, you’ll feel like you are riding on an express transportation to the future.
Though I have no one special at the moment, I’m happy with showing love (eventhough not that much) to my friends and family and constantly praying for them and my relationship with them. I ask God to teach me how to love people regardless of the differences that we have. I also constantly pray for that special someone and wait patiently. God has His own timing.
A verse that I use as a principle for my relationship with others, because as we all know, love is universal:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5